Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
