big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Randomize
