People with herpes should wear stickers.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Randomize
