So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
