Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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