You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
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We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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