i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Nicole vs. Life
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
