then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize