I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
