I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
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I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
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I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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