Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
