it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
