No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
