i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Boobs are out for the taking
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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