If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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