i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
