So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
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Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
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He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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