stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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