I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
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