i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
