I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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