So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
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when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
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Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize