Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
