do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
