if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
