Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
