We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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