Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize