then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
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