you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Michael Bay diarrhea
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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