I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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