Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
