he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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