and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
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