Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
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There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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