All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
