I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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