i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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