The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
