haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
