i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
