Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Randomize
