brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
you had me at cake vodka
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
