i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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