it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
