i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
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