i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
