Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
