So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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