She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
