i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize