my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
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You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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