i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
