so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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