Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
