All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize