if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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