worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
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