a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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